Editor’s Note: The following interview contains explicit language. Avoid if easily offended.

Tyson Fury in Las Vegas. It’s a pairing as appropriate as Billy the Kid in the Wild West. The enigmatic Englishman loves to entertain and he’s certainly been known to gamble during a roller coaster professional career which began in 2008.

Few believe, however, that the unbeaten Tom Schwarz has a chance of upsetting Fury when the pair collide in a 12-round heavyweight attraction at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas on Saturday. This fight will mark Fury’s first in a lucrative co-promotional deal between ESPN/ Top Rank and Frank Warren.

The unbeaten switch-hitter from Manchester has performed in swanky venues in New York and Los Angeles, but this will be his first time in Sin City. I started off by asking the former heavyweight champion how he was fitting in over in Las Vegas.

“I’m fitting in like a dildo; nice and easy,” Fury told The Ring before the company he was keeping erupted into laugher.

STATION BREAK!

“Tyson, behave mate, I need to be able to write something here,” was all I could muster after things had quietened down and I’d tried – unsuccessfully – to hold in my laughter.

Fury and I get on well – we always have – but a devilish chuckle was a signal that he was loving my predicament. His attention then quickly switched to his next opponent, a 25-year-old German pressure-fighter who is unbeaten in 24 fights with 16 knockouts.

“Tom Schwarz knows that upsets can happen; we’re only human being after all, so don’t put the blame on me if I do lose,” said Fury in earnest before switching off the modesty.

“He’s just seen Andy Ruiz beat (Anthony) Joshua and that will have elevated him to new levels. But, honestly, I don’t care. I can deal with anybody who’s in my way. I cannot be defeated. I must break him.”

By this point we’d had sex toys and Rocky IV quotes which was an interesting mix. Knowing the act so well, I’d already began to cringe when I asked Fury to break down Schwarz as an opponent and highlight his strengths.

“He’s good-looking, blonde hair, blue eyes and a big cock,” yelled the Gypsy King.

What do you do with this guy?

STATION BREAK!

“Tyson, seriously, what do you think of Schwarz as an opponent?”

“He’s big, ambitious and hungry. That’s all I need to know,” was the simply response.

WBC heavyweight titleholder Deontay Wilder (left) vs. lineal heavyweight champion Tyson Fury. Photo by Esther Lin/ Showtime

The aforementioned upset of Joshua on June 1 led to Fury being upgraded to The Ring No. 1 spot at heavyweight. The reasons for that were outlined in a recent ratings update. The former Ring Magazine champion was understandably happy with that decision and gave his reaction.

“It’s very good and that’s where I belong,” said Fury, who still retains lineal status. “I’m so happy that Ring Magazine got it right. They done the right thing because I’m No. 1 in the world. I’ve got no defeats, I beat (Deontay) Wilder and the world knows it. It’s a very good position for me to be in.

“I’d like to become a two-time Ring Magazine champion, but I’ve got Tom Schwarz, then I have one or two more fights lined up before Wilder. It’s one fight at a time, but when the rematch comes, I’ll beat Wilder again, don’t worry about that!”

Two more fights?

Wilder, who is rated No. 2 by The Ring, has a rematch lined up with Cuban southpaw Luis Ortiz. The prevailing thought was that an immediate rematch with Fury would follow early next year. If, however, we can take the ex-champion at his word, his schedule would still allow the Wilder sequel to take place in the first quarter of 2020.

“I’ll have this fight against Tom, one in September and, hopefully, I’ll have one in December,” said Fury before disclosing that the U.S. could now be his permanent business address.

“Only in America. I’m living the American dream at the minute. I don’t think I’ll box in the U.K. anymore to be honest with you. I’m now a U.S. commodity. I have a good tan, I’m planning on a penis extension and a Brazilian wax.”

STATION BREAK!

By this point, the pattern of the interview was fully established and Fury was in complete control. Sometimes you just need to go with the flow. When it comes to interviewing him in this frame of mind, you take what you can get from Fury. Despite his off-the-wall approach, he sounded in great spirits.

Finally, I asked if Joshua’s shock defeat had changed his long-term goals.

“The goals have always been the same when it comes to boxing,” Fury said flatly. “I want to enjoy myself and kick a lot of ass. That is it. I want to be happy with what the good Lord has given me.”

The fact that Fury requires a penis extension might have revealed more about what the Good Lord didn’t give him. Sorry big man, I had to. You do the talking and the fighting, but I do the writing.

Fury vs. Schwarz will be televised live on ESPN in the U.S. and is available via BT Sport Box Office in the U.K.

Tom Gray is Associate Editor for The Ring. Follow him on Twitter: @Tom_Gray_Boxing

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