There’s nothing much going on in boxing beyond the usual right now: The organizations inventing and handing out more belts; promoters kissing their behinds; TV suits making fools of themselves, and round-card girls continuing their courageous fight to get more air-time, a cause you might recall I fully support. It can only mean it’s time for a mailbag, so read on for thoughts on religious sacrilege, Lady Gaga, Barney Ross, Juan Diaz, morons, watery balls and assorted other blasphemies.

NO MORE PACQUIAO!

Bill,
I saw the cover for this month's magazine – one question comes to mind: I'm as big a Pac-Man fan as anybody, but seriously…..with fighters like Paul Williams, Sergio Martinez, Shane Mosley, and the entire Super Six tournament, isn't it safe to say that 3 covers so far in 2010 is a bit much for ANYBODY? — Darren

Hi Darren. I know where you’re coming from. But the magazine business is a little strange, a little quirky. They have this rule that says: sell magazines. Manny sells them. Hell, if we could get Lady Gaga into a pair of boxing gloves, the suits would have us put her on the cover. (NOTE: I AM NOT AUTHORIZED TO PROMISE LADY GAGA OR ANYONE ELSE A COVER ON RING MAGAZINE. Damn lawyers.) Thanks for writing.

WHAT THE HELL?

There was a time when Zab Judah shined brighter than the sun and would have gone down as the best pound for pound, not only in our generation but in our history and the history of boxing. We have seen Zab exposed with the fight against Kostya Tszyu, I think the ref shouldn't have stopped the fight, it was a championship bout and Zab could have came back from that knock down. But I think its a thing of Zab destroying ZabÔǪ.This is not the new beginning for Zab, this is the end to the start of a beautiful and an end to a terrible tragic career. Will Zab even make it into the hall of fame? — Akinyele

Thanks for writing, Akinyele. Zab may well make it into a Hall of Fame in his lifetime — anything’s possible and he’s a young kid, yet, after all — but it won’t have anything to do with boxing. So there’s your answer. But it’s not the end of your answer, it’s the beginning of the end of a start to a beautiful ending of a start to a tragic answer that really has no end. Follow?

SOG

Hi Bill,
You got the SOG thing all wrong. The idea is that we are all children of God. By calling himself Son of God, Andre Ward is claiming his religion. With his nickname and the way he carries himself, this is going to go a long way with the churchies. Lets hope he doesn't become a hipacrit like Evander Holyfield (8 kids, 8 mothers kind of thing). Not that I am much of a churchie, but I am impressed with Ward. He is pretty well spoken and
has quite a bit of talent. He may even be the next American PPV headliner; we will just have to wait and see. — Todd

Hi Bill,
I wanted to help you out with the Sons of God. No, it is not against any religion to call yourself a Son of God. Actually the Bible tells us that we will be the Sons and Daughters of God. In the Book of John it says that the ones who receive Christ would be the sons of God. Hope this helps. — Byron

Bill:
The whole thing hinges on whether its a capital “S” or small “S.” Yes, the Bible refers to believers as children of God. But there is only one Son of God. Watch your punctuation there, Andre!! — Harry

My thanks to everyone who tried to help educate my irreligious behind. Thanks to your input, I am renaming myself SORM – Son of Rupert Murdoch. The way I look at it, that rich old bastard has to croak sooner or later and if I can get enough people to start calling me SORM, I have a shot at getting in on some of those billions. It scares me sometimes how smart I am.

DIAZ A SPENT BULLET?

Bill,
You said in your column today that Juan Diaz is a spent fighter. I'm not arguing with you, but wanted some clarification. Do you think the beatings he got from Campbell and Marquez did it, or did he just run out of talent? — Matthew

(PS- Mayweather is a complete jackass, but my God what an artist.)

Hi Matthew. It’s both. Those beatings didn’t help, and neither did the Malignaggi fights. But guys like Diaz who start very young and throw a million punches a round burn out fast. I think Marquez, who’s no young stud himself, wrecks him in the rematch. And I agree about Mayweather. Thanks for writing.

ROSS VS MAYWEATHER, PACQUIAO

Hi Bill,
You recently wrote a piece on Barney Ross for RingTV.com . As an old school boxing fan I was wondering, how do you think Pacquiao and Mayweather would do against Ross? Thanks. — Marc

Hi Marc. Ross is an all-time great who could hold his own against either of those guys. If you force me to pick, I say he beats both of them. You don’t get to 72-4-3 (22 knockouts) by accident. Thanks for writing.

SERGIO MARTINEZ’ CORNER

Hi Bill.
Martinez' corner not only looked hilarious, but did you hear the translation after the 10th or 11th round ended? Martinez, who had just blitzed Pavlik in the round, sat down on his stool and was told to “keep hitting him, you ass!” It reminded me that some of the funniest stuff I've heard has come from boxers' corners. Two that stand out – Forrest/Mayorga 1, “That black guy hits hard!” And Erik Morales' corner during the second fight with Pac Man, where someone in the corner was told to “pour some water on his balls.” Awesome. — Lou

Hi Lou. I agree! That’s why it drives me crazy when some dim-witted producer in a truck tells a talking head to plug an upcoming episode of Rednecks in Colorful Cars or something when we’re trying to hear what the hell is going on in a corner. New Rule: No more blah-blah in between rounds. Save it for the clinches. Thanks for writing.

MORON

Hey moron:
You wrote “Floyd Mosley.” It’s “Floyd Mayweather.” Doesn’t anyone proof read your columns? You’re supposed to be a writer. Good writers don’t make those mistakes.
— Rich

Misteaks? What mistaks!? This am an outrage!!

BIAS

Dettloff,
You take shots at Gary Shaw and King and Arum all the time but never at Richard Schaefer and your bosses at Golden Boy. I wonder why that is??? — Kyle

Hi jackass, er, I mean Kyle. I’ve taken plenty of shots at Golden Boy, here in my column and also on Ring Theory. Lucky for me, the suits either don’t care what I write or haven’t the slightest idea that I exist. I suspect the latter but hope for the former. Thanks for writing!

Some random observations from last week:

Note: I was out of town for a week and didn’t get to see the Chavez-Duddy card until a couple days ago, hence the appearance now of my comments on that show.

The excellent Barry Tompkins has been relegated for years now to Fox Sports Net shows and Top Rank pay-per-view cards. Who exactly did he piss off, and if he apologizes already, can we get him to replace Gus Johnson?

OK. St. Patrick’s Day comes once a year. What do you do the other 364 days if you’re John Duddy?ÔǪ

So here’s how it works in boxing: Chavez fought 2/3 of the Duddy fight about the way he’s fought virtually every other fight in his career and all anyone can say is what a great job Freddie Roach did for the kid. I give upÔǪ

I’ll say this: If Chavez ever learns how to slip a punch — his old man was way underrated in this regard — he might be somethingÔǪ

I don’t know what I was expecting to see from Marco Antonio Barrera, but the guy can still fight. I’d love to see him against Humberto Soto, and after that, how about Barrera-Morales IV? Oh don’t be such a snob, you so too will watch it, and you know itÔǪ

Best line of the telecast from Raul Marquez: “I had (Chavez) winning unanimously.”ÔǪ

That Bob Arum is such a liar. I’ve been doing this a long time. I think I would know if I were watching the nephew of the great Salvador Sanchez getting his head handed to him by Tomas Villa. And that wasn’t him. Who exactly was it, you ask? My sources tell me it was none other than the nephew of Juan Epstein

So HBO is out of the Klitschko business. I care. I care. I care. Nope. Didn’t work. I really don’t care. And after all, it’s HBO’s money. They can do what they want with itÔǪ

My MMA-watching friends tell me James Toney won’t last 30 seconds in his UFC debut. They’re probably right. It should make for an interesting postfight interview.

Bill Dettloff, THE RING magazine’s Senior Writer, is the co-author, along with Joe Frazier, of “Box Like the Pros.” He is currently working on a biography of Ezzard Charles.

Bill can be contacted at [email protected]